How often do you find one specific incident – say, an incident with a co-worker – coloring your whole day? I caught myself letting it happen yesterday, and I’ll be the first to admit I’m ashamed of myself. I’d been having a good, productive day before that. Then I got a message from someone that was deeply aggravating, right before I had to go pick up my kid from school, and emotional seepage from the discussion affected the whole rest of my day.
I got nothing else done, even after I got home. Everything I tried ended in frustration. Every message I read took on a negative cast. Even a list of top gay romance novels became a source of misery. Instead of looking at the list and thinking, hey, here are some books I should go pick up, because they’re probably awesome and I could learn a lot, I immediately started pouting, Oh what’s the point, I’m never going to wind up on one of those lists…
And that’s not good. It’s not good because I delayed getting my hands on some pretty awesome books by, like three whole minutes, but I also ran the risk of letting one (admittedly frustrating and angry-making) interaction affect all of my work and possibly my long-term career.
Fortunately, the way I caught myself looking at that list is what jolted me out of my funk and let me build a little retaining wall around that emotional seepage. And yes, I did buy some of the books on that list out of sheer gratitude.
Let’s make something clear: It’s perfectly normal to get frustrated. And it’s not unusual for that frustration to spill over into other areas. I mean definitely don’t take it out on other people, like the cashier at the grocery store, your spouse, your kids or your dog. That’s bad. But it’s perfectly normal, when something really makes you angry or frustrated, to get stuck in that mindset – especially if the triggering event is part of a repeating pattern. There isn’t any shame in getting frustrated. The only shame is in how you handle it.
Handling It
When I realized what I’d been doing, I closed my computer and stopped pretending I was going to get anything done. I could always go back to my project later, but in my mindset at the time I was a danger to myself and anything creative I’d ever tried to do. My daughter and played a silly game. I worked out. I made dinner.
After dinner, I did some edits on a completely different project. That way, I was still doing something that needed to be done, but I wasn’t getting back to the thing I’d had so much trouble concentrating on before.
Like I said, there isn’t any shame in having those feelings. Everyone gets frustrated sometimes. Even Mother Theresa got frustrated sometimes. The important thing is recognizing the source of your frustration and handling it properly. This will help you rescue your productivity, and your sanity.
Also, running around and playing silly games with your kid (or dog) is just good fun. If you have neither, borrow one. Seriously.